Brandtrust’s COVID-19 Original Inquiry Presentation of Findings Narrative

CHAPTER TWO: DISORIENTATION – LIVING IN THE MIDST OF COVID

Working from home sucks. I don’t like it; it feels like I’m working all the time. There used to be a distinction between home and work where I could take off my work hat and be at home and disconnect, but now all my work is here. Sometimes the weekends feel exactly like the weekdays. You never get to leave; there’s no more 9 to 5. This whole situation of losing these boundaries has made it so much worse.

We’re still trying to have a schedule with the family to keep a sense of normalcy through the day. It helps me know what day of the week it is. I focus on the daily schedule instead of letting my mind wander. With the virus, all interference is out; the static has been turned off and we’re left with the deafening silence. It’s almost hard to remember what normal feels like. It’s like this has changed my whole definition. I used to be able to trust that definition of normal and now it’s gone. It’s like taking a step when you expect a step and finding nothing.

Under normal conditions, as long as you don’t hurt anybody else, I don’t care about what other people do. But now I have to because they could hurt me. My brain switches to a different gear, and I see things differently. It almost gives me a weird sense that I’m doing what I should be doing, so I’m a good person – but they aren’t following the rules, so they are a bad person. I’m now judgmental and I don’t know their context. Maybe they can’t wear a mask or they have no support system. It’s almost like I’m policing or being the snitch in the kindergarten class: “They’re not following the rules or staying 6 feet apart!” I know the cloth masks probably don’t do much; they are probably just a symbol at this point. But at the same time, if you see someone without a mask, it’s like a flag of not cooperating. It’s exhausting.

You’re scared that you’re not safe anymore, and the best thing for yourself and everyone else is to be isolated – which is the last thing any human being wants or needs. There’s a huge space this virus has caused between humans and the huge loneliness that it causes. It’s reminded me of how much I took for granted – the social interaction in the smallest facets of life, like the elevator or the grocery store. It definitely feels lonely and isolating in an emotional sense I hadn’t foreseen.

You almost get the feeling that life will never go back to the way it was before. You feel depressed. And you’re surrounded by the news and all these stories, with a lot of people now listening to information they already know or believe, on every end of the spectrum. I go through emotions of anger, sadness, depression – and periodically, the happy part will pop out. I’m feeling like a little ant running around. I’m one teeny, tiny thing in this mass. What can I do?

Copyright © 2020 Brandtrust. All rights reserved.